mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
