people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
