didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
