I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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