Im at strip club and am horny
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
