k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
