ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
