i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
