What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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