I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I could fuck to npr.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
