It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
