Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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