i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
