No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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