so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
