I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
