i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
