Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
