i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You've changed since you got that strap on
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
