You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
