I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
