last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
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