C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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