At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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