There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
