I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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