What did we do last night that was yellow?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
