cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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