rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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