If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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