my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
