great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
