some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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