Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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