I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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