I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
