gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
