I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
