So gin and wine won't be happening again
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
