Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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