we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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