it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
