I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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