I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
