He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
