I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
MIDGETS
????
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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