I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
