I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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