carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
