my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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