Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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