the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Congratulations! We have a period
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
