Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
